Avast ye salty bilge rats!! You are SO not worthy of this!!

Kidding. You totally are!

Superstar winemaker/swashbuckler Heidi Barrett (of Screaming Eagle fame) makes some absolutely thrilling, elegant, and ultra-polished wines under her own La Sirena label.

But THIS has to be one of the most fun, yet dead-serious and downright “Heidilicous” bottles she makes. Certainly, it’s near the top of our most enjoyed bottles at last week’s tasting (which included a stacked lineup).

We aren’t alone in thinking that. Here’s what Robert Parker said:

“Pirate TreasuRed is one of my favorite wines from Barrett… I always enjoy tasting the wines Heidi Barrett makes under her La Sirena label. At their best, the wines have a whimsical, child-like exuberance that is impossible to miss.”

If you like kitchen sink or “jungle” blends like The Prisoner or other similarly modern styled blends you’re in for a serious treat.

Actually, scratch that. This stuff makes The Prisoner look rather, well, pedestrian.

Heidi combines seven grapes - Cabernet Sauvignon, Syrah, Merlot, Grenache, Cabernet Franc, Petit Verdot, and Petite Sirah - into one raucous tour de force of a red.

It’s extracted and plush, with a lavish dose of ripe black fruit. Voluptuous is the word here. Or hedonistic. Or opulent. Certainly not for anyone who wants a mild mannered, light tipple…nope, this delivers a thunderclap of flavor.

The squat 750ml bottle flaunts a heaping basket of blueberry and smashed black cherry pie, pie crust and all, with some cassis and licorice, and all manner of dense, mouth-coating fruit, leather and spice. Certainly, has a judicious oak influence, but it’s all balanced with the firm tannins and expansive fruit and never seems overly heavy. Just a straight-up sexy fruit-bomb crowd-pleaser you can’t help but love.

Jack Sparrow wisely remarked “not all treasure is silver and gold”. Damn straight, the proof is right here! Don’t be a son of a biscuit eater and miss out on this one… plunder every bottle you can because it’ll go FAST.